Such a Relief! now that it's over

it has been such a roller coaster ride of emotions for the past few weeks. going to high school sailing nationals in new orleans, where i really did not want to go, yet forced myself to go, and yet found that it was such a great experience after all. then end of year awards and parties. then the finale, the big one!, graduation.
before graduation i would be driving around in the car and burst into tears. i'd see little sweet angels of kids in the grocery store and burst into tears. i'd look at pictures in iphoto and burst into tears. i'd put a pot of broccoli on the stove to steam and set off the smoke detector because, yes, i forgot to put water in the pot, and i was actually barbequeing the brassicaceae on the stove (yeay, the pot was salvaged from its crispy fried state). trying to make perfect desserts and happy tummies i was a wreck. at commencement the beautiful voice of a senior and her ukulele accompanist sent me bawling. but when it was over and i hugged and kissed my big boy, and he went off to his overnight adventure with the rest of his graduating class, i felt such a relief. yes, my baby would go off to college soon. yes, i have done pretty much all i could do to raise him to be a good person. and now it is up to him to police himself from now on.
and here i am back to normal without all that built up anxiety any longer. it just evaporated when my boy and his classmates loaded into their school buses for the very last time and were escorted by police cars and fire trucks with their lights a-swirling and horns a-honking off to the ferry for their big party, while i waved goodbye to all of those ecstatic kids i have watched grow up.
so now instead of focusing on "where did all that time go?!", i have another one that needs attention to reach the same point as her older brother. i'm now not dreading the impending vacancy my boy will leave for college. yes i will miss his unexpected humor, and all the activities that gave my life a bit more excitement, but wait a minute!, i won't have those stinky sailing booties around anymore. hurray for small things.
the photo above is my boy just after changing out of his cap + gown at graduation. when i first looked at the photo, that my husband had taken, i thought what is this? all cut off. but i like it very much now. it is his essence. his trademark sweatshirt and his handsome profile. i transformed it with a tutorial i read about photoshop techniques with some madrone bark embellishment. i think madrones are such regal trees. i love them very much. i love my son very much. what is a mother to do but to photoshop bark on her boy's face, right?
happy summer sweetie-pie. happy life.